The many times you saw but never see
by 42Lia
Summary: The first time was not at the Black Star heist. It wasn't even the Clock Tower heist. Actually, the first time Kuroba Kaito met Kudo Shinichi was, oddly enough, on a train. Then at a mixer. Then a crime scene. There was a park too. And later a masquerade. But the times Kuroba Kaito and Kudo Shinichi met was always somehow, just on a train. The detective just never seems to see it.
1. Chapter 1

**First came the Train-**

 _The first time was not at the Black Star heist._

 _It wasn't even the Clock Tower heist._

 _Actually, the first time Kuroba Kaito met Kudo Shinichi was, oddly enough, on a train. And no, not the train you are thinking about. Kaito still shudders at that particular memory. He still holds a grudge for what Tantei-kun made him do that night! No, this about quite a different train experience._

* * *

Kaito rushed as he heard the doors ring before closure. He made it just as the doors fell shut behind him and caught himself before he tripped onto someone. He let himself lean against the side of the shut door, catching his breath.

At the next stop, the doors open and as Kaito waited, he saw someone else running late like he was earlier. The doors rang and the other teen was a bit less graceful than Kaito in his landing as he passed the doors. Kaito had to grab him by the arm to prevent him from falling into other passengers … hence Shinichi Kudo fell on him instead.

"Oh god! I'm so sorry! I was in a rush! I didn't think I'd make it! Are you alright?" The detective checked out the person he'd almost crushed against the walls of the train.

Kaito shook his head reassuringly.

"I'm fine. To be honest, I almost missed this train too!"

Shinichi sighed in relief as the other teen didn't seem upset or hurt. He gave the other boy a once look over and paused.

 _Strange._

Shinichi looked more carefully but still didn't see it.

He didn't see … _anything_.

Usually, he'd see someone's life story simply by looking at them, or at least, he can gleam a lot of information with one glance. But this boy was … blank. The only thing Shinichi could guess was his rough age and that he was a high school student like himself (the uniform gives it away). Other than that, the boy was a mystery.

"Is something wrong?" Kaito asked when he felt the other teen's insistent eyes on him.

To say Kaito was uncomfortable was an understatement. Here he was, on his way to a part of the city to pick up some tools for KID after a day of school, and he gets none other than _The_ Kudo Shinichi, teenage genius detective, fall on him! Talk about luck! Oh, yes, Kaito knows who the detective is. He is quite famous and features regularly on the front page of papers. Great. Another Hakuba bumping in his life! Kaito didn't think it'd be a problem. They just happen to have taken the same train and Shinichi has no way of knowing him (he doesn't even do theft but homicide!). So Kaito grew instantly concerned and wary when he felt the detective's eyes on him and scrutinising. That detective look is the same Hakuba gets when he's trying to prove that Kaito = KID (which the Brit will never be able to prove! Kaito is making sure of that!) But Shinichi Kudo doesn't know either KID or Kaito and seems to not have any interest in pursuing the magician thief (he hasn't made any attempt to do so anyway). So what is Kudo looking at? Did he spot something about KID? But Kaito always made sure to be as neutral as possible! He even practices on Hakuba every day! If the Brit can't find anything compromising on him, how the hell would some random other detective find anything?

Shinichi blushed at the sudden question, realising how rudely he'd been staring at the other boy.

"No! I'm sorry! I was just … It's nothing." He coughed nervously and looked away.

Kaito wanted to ask. Curiosity was gnawing and edging him to ask. But really, why would he seek the attention of a detective on himself if he can avoid it?

So, he did. Avoid it, that is. If very reluctantly. Kaito left things at that and patiently leaned against the wall of the train, his head resting backwards and his cheek cooling against the train window. He decided to rest his eyes until his stop. After all, running across Tokyo with a herd of policemen after him was bound to make him lose on his sleep hours!

He only opened them back, a good moment later, when he felt a body suddenly press against him. Looking up, he met the embarrassed expression of one Kudo Shinichi. His face was much nearer than before … Is that normal? What's he doing leaning over Kaito like that?! Does he have to stand this close?!

"Sorry." Kudo whispered, as if reading Kaito's mind. "The train's getting crowded."

And indeed. Looking over Shinichi's shoulder, Kaito realised that while he'd been dozing off, the train had packed itself up. Hence why Shinichi Kudo got pushed up against him. This almost could look like one of those romantic train scenes in Aoko's shojou mangas. This is so cliché and ridiculous that Kaito could almost laugh. In fact, he did chuckle, causing Shinichi to raise an eyebrow at his quiet hilarity.

"Just pictured one of my friend's shojou manga scenes." The smaller teen explained with a knowing grin and Shinichi had to think over his words before he felt a rush of heat over his face but he chuckled nonetheless.

"Oh god! This sounds awful!" he laughed along and truly it just was ridiculous.

Two strangers meeting on a train and getting into this awkward kind of position and they can't help but be reminded of how this scene is supposed to be romantic!

With a quiet sigh, Kaito smiled at the detective before returning to his rest. He hadn't slept much last night due to the heist and Hakuba's growing improvements at avoiding traps. Some shifting kept him aware of Shinichi's body enclosing his but he dismissed it. It's not like either of them could do anything about it. Besides, he's too tired to care!

A sudden narrow turn from the train caused Kaito to bump his head back and groan. He tried to reach with his hand to rub it but his crossed arms were stuck between him and Kudo with no space to move. Kaito felt another turn and another bump. He wanted to move away from the narrow space against the wall but he knew he could not. At the next bump, it surprised him that he felt his head hit something softer instead of the train's hard window. He opened his eyes and saw a concerned Kudo watching him closely like he was doing earlier. Except, unlike earlier, this time, the detective was trying to assess something here and was leaning awkwardly closer. His arm lifted up right around Kaito … uh? Kaito felt his head fall back again with the train motion and hit Kudo's arm.

"What?" Kaito tried to turn his head but any movement was impossible.

"Sorry. That's all I can do about this. Can't really move much myself." Shinichi quietly explained, making sure he didn't completely crush the other boy with his weight, despite the forceful pressure on his back from other passengers.

He managed to reach an arm around the other teen's head and lean it against the train window, hence preventing the teen from hitting his head against the solid glass each time. Shinichi had only noticed the discomfort of the boy due to his own observation. The teen had remained oddly silent and you'd not even notice he was hurting his head. Had Shinichi not been observing the sleeping teen to try and figure out more about him, he wouldn't have noticed either.

Ok, so Shinichi didn't actually manage to figure anything out but now that he was standing so close to the other boy, he could even stare fully into the slender teen's eyes and count the shades of blue and purple in his eyes, blending beautifully into a midnight indigo. He had long eyelashes too. Dark long eyelashes framing those unusual eyes. But what really caught Shinichi's attention were the beginnings of fatigue showing in the bags under the other teen's eyes. That explains why the boy is trying to sleep at every opportunity and it's also why Shinichi had felt compelled to help him rest by preventing he get a concussion from banging his head against the train.

Shinichi felt himself blush again (why has he been blushing so much?!) but due to his awkward positioning, he couldn't look away or even manage any more space between his face and the other boy's.

"No … Thanks. You didn't need to." The teen smiled thankfully and Shinichi swore the boy's smile was pure sunshine! It glowed! Literally glowed! It was warm and fuzzy and made you feel like nothing could go wrong in the world!

Unconsciously, Shinichi felt himself moving forward, his body seeking the warmth of that person. But then, another sharp turn and both Shinichi and the other boy lost their balance, stumbling against one another, and Shinichi felt himself get pressed up closer yet again. You could almost think they were hugging now, with Shinichi's arm around the other teen and their physical contact.

Neither spoke.

Kaito tried not to think of how much Hakuba would laugh at this situation. The damn bastard would definitely tease him if he heard. But right now, Kaito's main focus for concern was in the taller teen pressed against him in a rather awkward and almost intimate manner. Stupid trains. Stupid people. And Stupid detective who had to bump into him in the first place!

So Kaito did the only thing he could: He closed his eyes again and pretended he was in his bed. Sleep did eventually overtake him for a moment until someone started to shake him awake. For the third time, he woke up to Kudo's bright alert blue eyes. They were very sharp eyes, clearly displaying the detective's intelligence. Shaded of a sky blue with maybe even a wintery touch, it felt like a complete contrast to Kaito's own darker shaded eyes.

"Sorry to wake you but we've got more space now and you'd have fallen if I hadn't kept holding you." Shinichi explained.

While the train had slowly emptied itself, Shinichi realised while he tried to distance himself from the other teen that he couldn't. The sleeping boy was leaning heavily on him and Shinichi didn't want to risk making him fall.

"Uh? Oh! Yeah. Sorry about that. Thanks." Kaito yawned and carried his weight off the detective, leaning back against the train's wall.

They both returned to a reasonable distance from each other and it remained so until Kaito got off the train first, bidding a quick goodbye to the detective teen.

* * *

 _That was it._

 _That was the first time Kaito met Shinichi. Luckily, it's unlikely Shinichi would even remember him and they never exchanged names. It was just a coincidence that a few weeks later, Shinichi Kudo attended his Clock Tower heist and almost drove him against the wall (metaphorically this time). Well, Kaito didn't know that the mysterious pursuer on the helicopter was Kudo at the time and he dismissed it rather quickly._

 _Things really kicked off when Conan came into the picture but even so, that wasn't the last time Kaito's path coincided with Shinichi._


	2. Chapter 2

**Detectives and Thieves do not mix ... at mixers?-**

And that is why you never agree to owe Aoko favours! She can make you feel guilty for missing out on a planned date and the consequence will be ten times more awkward than any date. Kaito didn't exactly choose to miss out their sort-of-date, but is it his fault some jeweller sent a challenge to KID and as the diligent gentleman he is, Kaito had to uphold his reputation and somehow Nakamori-keibu was in really good shape that day and it took longer to get rid of him!

So Kaito missed their meet up time by half an hour! Sue him!  
Actually no! Please don't sue him, KID can't afford to be locked up!

Though right now it does feel like he is. Locked up, that is.

Maybe Prison isn't such a bad idea compared to this.

"So! Kuroba-san! I heard you're a magician!"

Kaito internally groaned even as he smiled at the last women he ever wanted to meet today. At a mixer. With two of his friends. On orders of Aoko as a punishment because she knows that the mixer is in … a Sushi bar. Evil! That woman is evil! Why is he in love with her again?

"That's right! Kuroba Kaito, Amateur Magician, at your service!" Kaito bloomed three yellow roses from his palm and handed them to the three girls.

Sonoko Suzumi squealed and excitedly accepted the rose. Typical Magician fan.

Sera Masumi frowned at her rose even as she accepted it, as if glaring the trick to reveal itself to her. Typical Detective.

And the last girl Kaito didn't want to meet under any circumstances … Ran Mouri blushed while also taking her rose. Her expression turned thoughtful for a moment and her eyes have been riveted on Kaito since they first walked into the restaurant. Typical girlfriend of a shrunken detective.

What did Kaito do to deserve Lady Luck's fury today?

Did he paint Hakuba's hair pink too often?

Did he dissed Akako too much and she cursed him?

No. This is definitely Aoko's fault! She's the one who dared him to go to this mixer. Her little revenge and missing their date. She knew Kaito hated attending mixers and especially … the Sushi!

Evil, evil Aoko!

"Ran~! You've been staring at Kuroba-san since he first walked in! You're not cheating on your husband now, are you?" Sonoko crooned with a wicked smirk and Ran blushed profusely, glaring at her friend, while Kaito was never more thankful for his poker face.

"Sonoko! That's not …! Shinichi is not my husband! You know that!"

Ok, wait, _that's_ what got you upset?! What about the implication that she was checking Kaito out? Seriously, Tantei-kun's girlfriend is just as oblivious as him!

"Did I say Shinichi? I don't think I ever did? Sera-chan?"

"Nope! I don't remember you mentioning Shinichi either!"

The two girls smirked in complicity while Ran huffed angrily under her blush, turning away from her teasing friends and … back to staring at Kaito from across the table. Oh joy!

"I'm sorry for staring like that! It's just … well, at first, when I saw you, you reminded me of a friend of mine." Ran explained, apologetic in her demeanour.

Tantei-kun's girlfriend is pretty sweet and polite. Kaito can see why Kudo would fall for her. In a way … she reminded him of Aoko sometimes. Especially the inhuman strength to break walls and bones alike! Yep, women are terrifying!

"No worries! It's fine! I must look a lot like your friend for you to get confused like that!" Kaito reassured her with his most charming gentlemanly smile.

She blushed again and looked down at the table, frowning at whatever thought crossed her mind. Probably concerns Tantei-kun.

"You don't really."

"Uh?"

"Look like him, I mean. From far away, yes, I could easily confuse you but …" Ran shook her head and looked back at Kaito, scrutinizing his face.

"I don't know why I got you confused. You don't look alike but … You give off the same feeling …?"

… Ok. Tantei-kun's girlfriend is official as weird as Aoko! Congrats!

Speaking of Aoko …

Kaito jumped when his phone buzzed and nearly sighed in relief that he had an excuse to interrupt this growingly awkward and weird conversation with Ran Mouri. As expected, it was Aoko checking up on him.

"Ah! I'm sorry! Do you mind if I take this?" Kaito quickly apologised and Ran realised how much she had rambled on, blushed again, and nodded quickly while glaring back at the table.

Kaito took his salvation and walked bristly out of the Sushi bar, away from the annoying jealous stares of his friends, the sparkling eyes of Sonoko, Sera's determination to figure out his tricks, Ran's weird observing of him, but most of all, he got to escape the evil finny creatures spawns of Satan!

Kaito nearly breathed out in relief outside but instead plastered a cheery expression, adjusted his voice to hide any inflection of unease, and answered Aoko. She's insistent. Still calling even now.

"Ahoko! I hate you!" Kaito chimed and heard Aoko chuckle.

"It's your punishment!"

"I said I was sorry! I was only 30 minutes late! Why are you torturing me like this?"

"Aoko is only making Kaito understand how frustrating it is for Aoko to always have to wait up on you! It's not just that one time, Kaito! You're always late, always busy, and always cancelling! It's like you're leading a secret double life!" Aoko's voice grew more and more concerned as she spoke.

You have no idea …

"Yeah, yeah, I'm Batman!" Kaito joked and was glad to hear Aoko's laughter. He couldn't have her worry about him.

"At least Batman is cool! You're just a Baka, BaKaito!"

"I take all compliments, Ahoko!"

The both chuckled and Kaito felt much more at ease now. For about three seconds. Until he felt the familiar sensation of eyes watching him. Kaito glanced discreetly back towards the Sushi bar (shudder) and through the window saw that neither of the girls of the mixer were watching him. Ran Mouri looked lost in her thoughts while Sera and Sonoko were conversing with his friends. Ok, so if it's not Tantei-kun's girlfriend … Kaito shivered as the eyes turned into a glare. He could feel the angry pressure on his person. Good thing Sera Masumi is a detective. He might need one if whoever is watching him decides to act on their impulse and kill him!

"Kaito? What's wrong? You've gone weirdly quiet!" Aoko worried over the phone.

"It's fine! Just … my imagination, I guess!" Kaito dismissed her concerns quickly but kept himself aware so as to pinpoint the source of his discomfort.

"So? How's your mixer going? Meet any cute girls?" Aoko cheerfully asked but Kaito still heard the underlying worry and anxiousness in her voice. He smiled.

"Actually, funny you asked! One of the girls bizarrely reminded me of you. I bet you'd get along great!"

"Uh? Reminded you of Aoko? How so?"

"Well …" Kaito paused.

Uh.

He couldn't actually explain it. It's not really a physical resemblance. Not really. But more of a … a feeling?

…

Oh!

That's what Mouri-san meant!

Weird how that turned out!

Kaito couldn't help but laugh, causing Aoko's confusion.

"BaKaito? Why are you laughing now?"

"Sorry! It's just … well, she doesn't look like you but … You both give off the same feeling, you know?" Kaito tried to explain and realised he was borrowing Mouri-san's words.

Aoko stayed perplex and quiet before pouting.

"BaKaito! That makes no sense!"

"I guess not, uh?"

"… So … do you like this girl?"

Kaito rolled his eyes, smiling indulgently.

"I only said she reminded me of you! But she isn't and never will be you, Aoko!"

This seemed to make his best friend sigh in relief.

"I mean, it'd be hard to find someone as weird and violent as you, Ahoko!" Kaito couldn't help but tease and laughed at Aoko's offended shouts.

"BaKaito! You are so eating fish tonight!"

"WHAT?! But you already made me go to that mixer!"

"And I bet you took this phone call as your chance to escape!"

Busted …

He could hear Aoko's satisfied smirk in her voice when she spoke.

"So, Aoko is going to feed you fish as punishment for running away from your punishment!"

"Aoko, you're evil!"

"Kaito ditched Aoko on three dates, was late for 5 and forgot one completely, making Aoko wait for him all day!"

"You keep count?! What are you, Hakuba?"

"Aoko will forgive you by tomorrow! Tonight, Fish! Now go back to your mixer and don't be rude!"

"Yes, mum!" Kaito rolled his eyes, chuckling even as he dreaded the prospect of dinner tonight.

Turning off his phone, Kaito lingered outside for a moment. The glare from earlier seemed to have subsidised to a more curious stare. It lost its earlier animosity. Kaito had been able throughout his phone call to locate the origin of the stare but he couldn't tell who exactly. It came from a coffee shop across the street and there were quite a few people in there. Maybe he should do as Aoko said and ignore it, return to the mixer and quietly wrap up this gathering so he can forget all about Ran Mouri and sushi!

He should.

Yeah but … Between sushi and a potential murderer after his life …

Take the lesser of two evils!

Kaito nodded to himself and marched into the coffee shop.

* * *

Ok.

So, that was awkward.

Shinichi decided he made a really big mistake following Ran here. But what else can he do? When he overheard her conversation with Sonoko who had decided that all three girls should go out and have fun meeting guys at a mixer, Ran had blushed and her eyes even looked slightly excited at the prospect. Sure, he knew Ran was lonely and suffering from Shinichi's absence. He also knew that mixers don't always lead to romantic relationships. But how could she go?! Even as he saw the guilt in her, he also saw the desire to indulge, her desire to maybe allow herself to have fun regardless of her commitment to Shinichi. She probably just wanted to spend some innocent time feeling good about flirting and meeting people, even if she truly did not wish to go any further and was still faithful and loyal to Shinichi.

Damn it all … This is all because of the Apotoxin and Gin!

When Conan had placed himself in the coffee shop to spy on Ran, he'd been shocked to see someone familiar … was that himself? No. No way! Because he's right here! Switching on the listening device he'd slipped in Ran's purse, he got to hear the conversation between Ran and this Shinichi-look-alike.

And he's a magician! Of course!  
And of course he'll hand them flowers!

And flirt!

And he'll be charming and gentlemanly!

Are all magicians so frustratingly charming and enchanting?!

… Not to say that Conan finds magicians charming and enchanting! He doesn't even know many of them! Just the one, actually. The annoying, frustrating, talented, dashing, gentleman under the moonlight. …Those were not praises, right? It's not his fault Kaitou KID is a stunning and mind-blowing individual! But he's still a thief, still a criminal, and still Conan's target!

Right.

Moving back onto the other irritating magician flirting with his Ran!

Oh … He left.

Uh.

Phone call it seems.

Conan frowned as he watched the magician more closely now that he was outside. He doesn't look like Shinichi once you see his face. His posture does show off confidence and he too tends to shove his hands in his pockets the way Shinichi does. Ok, so he can see why Ran mistook him from afar. But that guy doesn't look like him remotely! He's much too cute … Ok! No! Stop! Stop that train of thought RIGHT NOW!

Conan's glare turned murderous at the magician. It's completely this guy's fault for seducing Ran and making him feel angry because damn, the guy actually is really good-looking! Conan had to remind himself that murder is wrong. Very wrong. You don't murder cute magicians because their smiles are like fucking sunshine! That did surprise him a little. The man's genuine laughter as he spoke over the phone and his beaming smile that made even Conan's rage fade a little, were unexpected and caught the detective off-guard. It made Conan wonder who was the person over the phone that could make the young man feel so at ease. It also made Conan glare murderously for an entirely new and different reason … nope, he is not being jealous over some guy he doesn't know just because the guy has an adorable smile! He loves Ran, for goodness sake! Yes, he can appreciate the appealing charm of this young man but that's it! Stop mooning over the guy you're jealous of! It's absurd! And why is he still smiling and laughing?! When he'd been with Ran, Conan hadn't realised the teen was acting and keeping up a façade. But now, seeing him as he is now, it's obvious he didn't want to be at this mixer anymore than Conan wanted to follow Ran to it.

His anger flurried as he berated himself for his own jealous streak. The memory of Haibara's warning flashed in his mind, telling him that he wasn't being an idiot. And he'd never admit she was right, nope, never! While he couldn't hear the magician's conversation, Conan watched the absurd shifts of emotions on the teen's face. In the mixer he'd kept up such a straight and charming façade but now … It's like every second the man wore a different face, a different emotion, like an ever-changing canvas. It's quite fascinating really. Not many people are so expressive, especially in Japan.

Conan watched the teen hang up and stand still for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Oh great. Now, he's going to go back and flirt with Ran again! Conan grimaced at the thought and wondered if he could barge in and steal Ran away like the good little brother he is meant to be.

Surprisingly, the magician looked up and stared straight at Conan. That nearly caused the chibi-detective to fall off his chair. Had he been caught? But how? No wait … Doesn't seem like the teen had spotted him specifically. So what …? He's looking at the coffee place? Why?

Uh?  
Why's he coming closer?  
Wait, wait, wait …! What is he doing?! He's on a date! At a mixer! With Ran! What is he doing ditching her to get a cup of coffee?!

Oh shit … He's busted, isn't he? The guy must have seen him spying and has come to confront him!

… Or he really did just come to get coffee?

Conan watched from his booth, well hidden from sight but perfectly able to see the teen magician order a large cup of … coffee? Tea? Who knows. Why is Conan even caring what the guy ordered? _He_ doesn't need to pretend to enjoy hot chocolate because kids can't order coffee! Oh, how much Conan misses his strong black coffee!

Well, nothing he can do about it!

Conan glared at his cup before sighing and turning back to look at the magician. Somehow, he was already gone back out and heading back to the Sushi bar, carrying not just his order but enough cups for everyone at the mixer. Great. He's charming and brings back coffee. Conan can't help the slithering snake in his stomach from hissing in hatred and jealousy.

He grumbled to himself, watching Ran light up at the offered cup and she blushed again. She never blushes this much with him. Why is she suddenly blushing so much just because some amateur magician brought her coffee?! Sonoko is throwing off even more sparkles from her eyes. Even Sera smiles at the kind gesture! Is that guy a womanizer?!

Again.

Conan ducked and hid, receiving odd looks from the surrounding tables. He didn't care. His primary concern was the quick way in which Ran's date had turned towards him once again. His indigo eyes had stared straight at him this time, as if he knew exactly where Conan was glaring at him from. How?! Did he have a sixth sense or something?

Conan grudgingly sat back in his booth seat when he was certain the Esper magician was too busy chatting with Ran and the girls to pay him attention. He sat, nursing his hot chocolate cup, mourning his loss of Ran, his loss of coffee, and the loss of not being able to go and meet this guy.

… Why on earth did he want to meet him?!

Conan frowned, staring at the lid of his cup, lost in thought.

The magician was good-looking and seemed nice enough. It's fair to say that Shinichi did find him attractive and if he didn't already love Ran, he might even have been interested. Now, the problem is the familiarity he gets from this man. His posture, his appearance … it's not just that it reminds him of perhaps himself … no, Shinichi is certain he's seen this person somewhere before. When and where, he couldn't for the life of him remember. Surely he would recall meeting someone as memorable as a womanizing magician that hands out flowers for fun and smiles like sunshine …

Why does that sound familiar?

"Kuroba-san? What's wrong?" Ran's voice rose from Conan's earphones as he'd been listening in to the conversation on the other side of the street.

Immediately Conan looked up towards the group. He shouldn't have. His eyes met with the magician and Conan was now certain that he'd been seen. Even from this distance, Conan could see the unusual indigo shade of those eyes and he wondered where he'd seen them before. Kuroba blinked once before waving discreetly with a cheeky smile and turned back to Ran.

"Nothing. Ran-san, you mentioned you had a little brother, correct?"

"Conan? Yes, why? We're not related by blood but I do consider him like my brother."

"Ah! No, just curiosity, I guess! I don't have siblings you see. I wonder what it's like!" Kuroba glanced briefly back at Conan and smirked knowingly.

Busted.

Now Conan was certain. This magician flirt definitely saw him and knows his relation to Ran! Well, at least, he probably assumes that "Conan" is spying on his big sister out of concern for her.

And he'd be right.

With the exception that "Conan" is in fact "Shinichi" looking out for his girlfriend!

The child growled angrily at having been found out and brought he cup of hot chocolate to his lips. He was surprised and nearly dropped the cup altogether.

It wasn't hot chocolate anymore … but his favourite black coffee.

…

How on earth did that happen?


	3. Chapter 3

**Only one Truth revealed to the eyes of a dead woman-**

Now, you might think Kaito has great luck. He does. Lady Luck loves him exceptionally much! You could even dare say he'd her favourite mortal!

Now, that's true but when the Shinigami detective is around, somehow, Kaito's luck gets sucked up just to prevent another series of gruesome murders! Seriously, it's like the guy just makes bodies drop from the sky and only when Kaito is around, or KID, do things not turn out as … excessively deadly.

Today is one such day.

Today is the day Kaito stumbled upon a murder.

…

Kaito DOES NOT stumble upon murders. The only time he does is when … Oh! Look at that! Tantei-kun and his friends are no less that 3 meters away from him in the game store and pouf! The girl to Kaito's right drops in a shriek and Kaito barely has time to catch her collapsing body. She's cold in his arms and he instantly realises the tragedy when her blank eyes stare back at him.

His stomach turns and unpleasant memories flood his mind.

 _A stage on fire …_

 _A gravestone …_

 _Aoko's mother in the hospital …_

 _A gravestone …_

 _Midnight's mask …_

 _Hand slipping his fingers …_

 _A gravestone …_

 _Gunshots in the dead of night …_

 _Nakamori-keibu's car blowing up …_

 _Akako falls of her broom, shot while disguised as KID …_

 _Hakuba stuck in web of Spider, eye blank and lifeless …_

 _Aoko … Aoko … Aoko with tears when she visits him in the hospital …_

 _A gravestone …_

In the years he'd been KID, Kaito has seen enough of death. In the years before KID, Kaito had also met death. Even now, it seems death still comes to greet him, as if taunting his helplessness.

"Nii-san!"

Kaito jumped at the sudden hand shaking him and he looks straight into Tantei-kun familiar blue eyes. Exceptionally, today, they are at perfect eye level to each other. Kaito was kneeling on the floor of the game shop, the dead girl still cradled in his arms as if he tried to heat up her lifeless body. Tantei-kun standing next to him, holding his shoulders firmly with his tiny grip, eyes strong and watching him, dissecting him, figuring him.

* * *

Indigo.

Conan can't help but stare.

When he'd heard the scream and turned to see a girl collapse in the arms of a young man, his first thought was that the man had attacked her. But as he rushed to the scene, he was brought to a pause by the sight.

The man looked pale and was hugging he unconscious … no, dead … the dead woman. His eyes were shadowed by his dark bangs but it was clear that the man was in shock, even as hic body stilled perfectly like a statue. Conan approached him cautiously, calling out gently.

No response.

Did he even hear him?

He tried again but again failed.

He reached out and softly shook the man's shoulder.

Nothing.

Now Conan was worried and shook harder, calling louder.

This time, he must have broken through because the young man looked up and met Conan's eyes.

Indigo.

Conan swore he'd seen those eyes somewhere before but where? Somehow, the eyes looked blank and empty, lost amidst memories but upon meeting Conan's eyes, the Indigo slowly flared back to life and Conan was now staring at eyes akin to a starry sky. It was truly stunning. The swirls of blue and purple, the sudden light brimming from those eyes, it's like the night sky lit up by sparkling jewels.

Where had he seen those eyes …?

"Can you call the police?"

Conan snapped out of his staring as the young man suddenly asked for the most sensible request in this kind of situation.

"Ah! Oh! Yeah! Of course! Mitsuhiko!"

"Already on it, Conan-kun!"

Conan nods at his friends as they are already telling other customers and the shop owner to stay back and not damage the crime scene. He'd really trained them well. Haibara shot Conan a warning gaze but he ignored her, turning back to focus on the young man.

Now that he looks at him fully, and not just his eyes … no matter how pretty they are and how nicely framed by those long eyelashes … ok, stop, Conan! You are in love with Ran! Stop crushing on the random stranger with the pretty eyes who happens to be your main suspect in the murder of a young girl! And … isn't he the guy Ran met at that mixer that one time? Oh damn! That's where he'd seen him before?! What are the odds that Conan would stumble upon that guy again?!

* * *

Pretty high actually, Kaito realises.

Somehow, Kaito has a tendency to stumble upon law enforcers just as easily as Tantei-kun stumbles upon murdered victims. In a way, if Kaito weren't KID, he'd be the most well acquainted and protected citizen in Japan given how well he's familiar with the police! So the odds of meeting Tantei-kun at a crime scene …? Yeah, pretty much expected.

When it's not him, it's Hakuba or that Osakan dectective, or Masumi Sera, or the secret agents from the FBI, or Nakamori-keibu, or Hakuba's dad, or the members of the KID Squad, or Kogoro Mouri, or Division 1 which Kudo frequents, or …

Yeah, that's way too many law enforcers and Kaito's not even in the business! At least Kudo is a detective so it makes sense that he would have a wide network among the law and police force. But Kaito's just a magician (and a thief in passing)! Why does he familiarise with so many people out to catch him?! This is bad for his mental health!

"You can put her down you know."

Kaito blinks back at the detective child and shakes his head, both in response and to clear his distracting thoughts about why Thieves should not be so friendly with detectives and inspectors and FBI and …

"I shouldn't temper with the crime scene. After all, I am now part of the scene, aren't I?"

Conan said nothing, simply watching him like he always does when working out a case. Kaito had a bad churning feeling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe Tantei-kun will not pick up on his alternative persona? For now, all Tantei should know about him is that he went to a mixer with his precious Mouri-san.

"You're … you're a magician, right? Kuroba-san, I recall. I'm Ran's brother."

That caught Kaito by surprise but he nodded nonetheless. Conan made a strange expression, like a cross between a frown and a grimace. Does he hate magicians that much?

"Are you … Are you ok?" Conan tried asking again and looked genuinely concerned this time.

Kaito blinked, unsure how to respond.

"I mean … people don't usually stay so calm when they see someone die …" Conan explained.

Oh.

Yeah.

Kaito realises how suspicious he must look. A calm and rational reaction is not what normal people act like when they come across murder. But it's too late to pretend now. All he can do is …

* * *

Smile.

He smiled.

It was soft and awkward and … obviously fake.

Conan frowned but didn't say anything. He could tell the smile was fake from how crisped and tensed it was. The indigo eyes still looked weary and haunted, even as the man's face showed nothing but a composed mind.

Conan had only meant to enquire on the well-being on the magician. After all, it was obvious that he was shocked and strongly impacted by the death he witnessed. If anything, Conan would say this young man has already met death one too many times and the dead girl in his arms was dragging back memories the man seemed to fear.

The incredible calmness and rational reaction of the man also suggests that he is familiar with a) police procedure and b) with death such that he can hold back his own feelings for the sake of the case and the victim.

Normally this would be suspicious but … It never crossed Conan's mind. The man's tight grip on the dead girl, the care with which he cradled her, his refusal to let her go as if afraid to accept that she is indeed dead, and the haunted look he'd had earlier …

No.  
This man is not acting. He's simply smothering his own feelings and emotions for the sake of the dead girl and everyone else present. Conan couldn't tell if this man was incredibly strong, or incredibly vulnerable.

Leaning closer to the man, Conan felt the urge to wrap his arms around the lithe form of the teen, cover his hunched back with his warmth, and envelop the man completely, shielding him from all the evil this world dared to have thrown too many times at him.

… What the hell is he thinking now?!

"I'm familiar with death. And I'm familiar with police procedure. I guess that's why I'm not as … upset as I should be."

No, you look plenty upset to me, Conan couldn't help thinking.

"You, on the other hand, shouldn't be seeing something so gruesome at such a young age."

Ah. He's worried.

Conan felt himself blush. Normally he'd be angry at the way people patronise him as a child but somehow … this man's eyes weren't looking at him like everyone else does. Instead they looked genuinely concerned but also accepting. It's as if the teen knew that Conan would still be fine no matter how many murders come his way … and that very thought seems to make the teen sad and worried.

Conan swallowed with difficulty, feeling a painful lump in his throat.

Never before had anyone looked at him like that. Like that completely saw through his façade, like they completely understood, like they accepted him but nonetheless regretted their own helplessness to help him.

The kind soul in those midnight eyes is incredibly humbling to the self-righteous detective.

* * *

"It's alright! I'm a detective!"

The affirmation rang so sure and so true that Kaito felt the sounds resonate to his very bones. Tantei-kun is always like that. Always so self-assured. Always confident. Always true to his belief and never wavering.

It frightened him sometimes but most of the time, it reassured him.

Tantei-kun isn't weak and nor is he a coward. He doesn't need to hide behind a mask and go in round about ways to achieve his goals, unlike a certain thief. He doesn't let go of a case simply because it could be dangerous. He always honours the victims with their well-deserved justice. He also never lets his own feelings get in the way of saving people.

Of course, seeing a murdered woman, it's obvious the detective can act so efficiently. Conan has seen far more deaths, far more human cruelty, far more violence than KID or Kaito have. And he's still able to walk his straight and just path. That's why he's Meitantei, after all.

Kaito felt another smile pull at his lips but this time, he didn't need to force it.

* * *

"Then I hope you can solve this, Tantei-kun."

Conan felt another blush threaten to take over his face but he luckily drowns it down. The smile this time was completely different. It was earnest, it was genuine, it was wistful, and it was … rather beautiful. It's quite odd but Conan, having now seen this smile, couldn't stand the magician's face looking so serious and gloomy. He suits smiles. Definitely.

And he'd sounded so thankful.

It's strange.

Conan hasn't even proven himself but this man, a complete stranger, believes him when he says he's a detective. Not only that but he believes him capable of solving the case. Hopeful even!

What a strange person …

* * *

"I'll solve it."

And it sounded like a promise.

Like a pact.

Like a vow.

Blue and Indigo caught in a silent conversation even they knew nothing about.

The case was quickly resolved as Tantei-kun promised.

It didn't take long to solve thanks to the magician's help.

It was weird, being a suspect in Tantei-kun's case instead of his target as KID.

It was strange that no matter how, I couldn't see Kuroba-san as a suspect.

When I felt the dead woman's body get pried from my hands, I suddenly felt really cold …

So I hugged him, shared my warmth with him, offered him the human touch he needed …

And when I felt another pulse beating in my arms, I finally felt the tension and unease leave me and I could breathe again …

And when he hugged back, his body finally trembled, as if realising that he no longer needed to act strong and keep himself together …

It was strange. His small child-like body felt so much larger when he held me …

Even as I was the child, I couldn't help but feel him shrink in my arms, like I was holding a child myself …

I didn't cry of course.

He never cried.

I let him go first. The sharp reminder at the back of my mind warning me that Tantei-kun is a detective and too much contact could jeopardise my identity.

When he let go, he seemed reluctant. Or perhaps that's my own wishful thinking. I wanted to hold him longer, shield him completely, and allow him to finally let himself feel safe enough to cry.

I congratulated him again. The smile came easily this time.

He smiled a third time. This time was the most beautiful one but also the saddest one.

He left with his friends while I was taken by the police to be dropped off at the station for my statement and filing the paperwork on the case. I texted Nakamori, asking if he can pick me up.

I watched him get in a police car and an irrational feeling of dread overtook me. Somehow, it almost felt like he was being arrested. And that very thought revolted me.

Out of the car window, we drive passed the little detective. He looks as professional as ever. And I chuckle, waving back. I'll know I'll be seeing him again soon under the moonlight. Even if we may never meet again as I am now.

He waves at me and for a moment, it feels like he'll disappear. I'll never see him again.

Maybe one day, the detective will recognise him.

Maybe one day, I'll finally meet him again.

When he does, I wonder if he'll arrest me?

When I do, I'll never let him vanish again.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Magician under the Sunlight-**

I almost didn't recognise him. His demeanour is completely different from the times I'd previously met him.

And yet, he did feel familiar.

 _"Ladies and Gentlemen!"_

The familiar introduction suddenly sparked a recollection of the many, many times I had been greeted with those words. Under the blessing of the moon. With crowds cheering his name. And his boastful and beautiful self granting the world with another show of inexplicable wonders.

The children sqealed and cheered. He smiled and it wasn't the same shark-like grin he uses to taunt the police. No. But it had the same genuine happiness that he gets whenever he pleases his crowd.

I stay by the back, even as Ayumi and the others rushed to the front row of the show. It's not even anything grand or official. He's just standing there, in the corner of a park, improvising a show because one little girl had been crying. And as usual, he just can't bear to see people cry. He's far too kind. Far far too … too good.

Ribbons fly.  
Doves flutter.  
Rabbits disappear.  
Sparkles rain down.

Even I cannot help but feel giddy. A warm bubbling feeling grows in me and I remember well the many times I felt the same thing on those fateful nights. Now, without the cover of the night, without the artifices and the grandeur, without the publicity and the chase, without it all, it was still the same glorious thrilling show he was given witness to.

He tips his hat forward and bows to conclude his show. The children make disappointed sounds while the parents clap, also having enjoyed the show. The crowd slowly disperses. Ayumi and the others rush off to look for him, not realising that he had just been standing meters away from them further back. It doesn't matter. He'd rather they not be around.

Kuroba-san notices him. For a moment, he looks surprised then he smiles and waves. I was reminded of that same smile and wave in the police car, and the irrational dread I had felt to see him getting driven away by the police. Now, it makes sense.

I want to speak.

I want to say something.

I want to call out.

But the words die in my throat.

He notices. He realises. He knows. I can't explain why but he knows. It's as if he can read me like an open book. Always. I can never hide secrets from him.

He walks up to me, a few doves still fluttering about and giving the impression that an actual angel is approaching me. He kneels down and we are once more at eye level, but now there isn't a dead woman between us.

He looks at me curiously, those vibrant indigo eyes watching and observing me, seeing through every defence I may raise. And he smiles.

God why do his smiles always look so beautiful?

"Hello, Tantei-kun! You took your time finding me." He whispers and vanishes in a rain of white feathers.

I finally let out a breath and let the bright red heat rush my face.

"… How did I not see it?!" I mumbled angrily.


	5. Chapter 5

**At the gathering of Faces, Masks fall off-**

It's rather unusual.

In the crowds of people gathered, Kaito didn't expect anyone to see or recognise him. After all, he's a master of disguise and discretion. Nobody ever sees him in a crowd. Now, in a masquerade, dressed as a woman, nobody should ever see him!

Count of Kudo Shinichi to break that rule!

And now everyone is staring.

Why is everyone staring?

Kaito doesn't want people to stare except when he wants them to! You only stare when the magician wants you to stare! You can't stare when he's preparing his trick! That's like peeking behind the red curtain! It's rude and it ruins everything!

Kudo always tends to peek behind the curtain, doesn't he?

So now, everyone is staring and Kaito still doesn't know what to do. He stands there, still as a statue, looking blankly down at the fully grown back Kudo Shinichi kneeling before him and offering him a gloved hand. The detective is wearing blue themed clothes with a medieval European flare to them, and a helmet-like mask. It doesn't hide the satisfied smirk he is wearing. That arrogant detective!

* * *

He's quite stunning.

Dressed in his silvery white dress and white feathered mask. Of course, KID couldn't stop his cheek to dress in the same colour scheme as his uniform. Yet nobody saw him. He was beautiful. The most beautiful girl and nobody saw. Shinichi himself knew that he wouldn't have seen either a few months back. Now that he knows who to look for, he is amazed at how blind he'd been.

Kuroba had added extensions to his hair and braided it beautifully so that it fell over his shoulder like a raven waterfall, black and white contrasting beautifully. His face is highlighted with makeup but he's not wearing a mask tonight. His indigo eyes suck Shinichi in instantly. That's how he saw him. Nobody in the world has eyes like those.

Kaito decided to accept the offer, if only to stop the endless staring and the rising whispers. He knows that Kudo Shinichi was popular and his recent reappearance after his successful take down of a criminal syndicate (mind you with KID's help although that's state secret) also boosted his already popular image. He should now be dancing and having eyes only for his Mouri-san, shouldn't he? So why is he asking Kaito?

He takes my hand but I can tell he's reluctant. I'm forcing him to act out by making such a spectacle of this. I don't care. If I didn't, he'd escape me, brush past me, disappear and leave me. And that … That is something I will not allow again. Not tonight. Not any other night.

* * *

We dance.

We dance.

The crowds forget again.

He makes them forget again.

My mind focuses back on the heist. It's my last one.

His mind is elsewhere. I can tell. He's more concerned by his last show.

I have 20 minutes and 12 seconds.

He's counting.

I play out my plan in my head again. Tonight is my grand finally. Pandora is already found and I am now going to make a grand show of destroying it, here, in this masquerade ball in the heart of a precious jewel and stones exhibition. The perfect setting.

Tonight is the last night. I'll lose him forever after. The dream will end and reality will drag us back in our daily lives. Tonight, I'm almost wishing magic did exist. I'm almost wishing KID could freeze time and make this heist never end.

It's time.

It's time.

The song ends …


	6. Chapter 6

**Last came the Train-**

 _The first time Kuroba Kaito and Shinichi Kudo met was on a train._

 _Since then, it has been many encounters, many secrets, many words, many moments._

 _But did you know?_

 _The second time Kuroba Kaito and Shinichi Kudo met was actually also on a train._

* * *

The doors rang a warning as they started closing. I only looked up from my book when I heard a sudden familiar voice shouting. As the doors fell shut, the man manages to gracefully squeeze in, flip and roll, and lands up straight and … right into my arms.

I can't believe I nearly missed it again! And this time I couldn't stop myself before falling into someone! Heist nights are great but waking up the next day? How does Nakamori do it? I mumble an apology to the person who'd caught me and looking up met the familiar blue eyes …

… Indigo. Oh. That's … unexpected.

I unconsciously squeeze tighter around the other man's shoulders, preventing him from getting away just yet. I don't want to let him go.

Ah shit … now he's not going to let me go easily, is he? But I'm not KID anymore! Well, that doesn't stop the fact that I did commit all these thefts and crimes. I'm still liable. Retiring isn't an excuse to escape the law. Why am I making a case against myself?!

He'll run. I know it. He's thinking of ways to run away.

I can't hold him down forever like that. I can't even if I want to. I want to hold him and protect him. I want to keep him close and never let anyone hurt him again. I don't want him to go off into the night, facing snipers and death, facing repercussion and prison, facing disgrace and fear. I am reminded of the time when I saw him perform in the park and I know that his person deserve far more from life than what has been given to him.

He's looking at me again. He does that. A lot. Always. Always he sees me and somehow, he still looks puzzled every time. It's like he can't quite see me. My masks, my faces, my words, many to confuse and trouble but he always sees through them. And yet he still can't quite see me.

I wonder why?

I wonder why?

Why can't I see him? Why is he so puzzling? Why can't I reach him? Why does he slip through my fingers?

The doors chime open and crowds walk into the train.

He pulls me away and against the train wall, shielding me from the masses as he places himself as a buffer.

He chuckles. It's adorable. I wonder what made him laugh.

"It's like we're in a Shoujo Manga all over again!" I explain and Shinichi's eyes lit up in recognition and a sudden blush greets his face. Damn … the detective was cute as Conan but now, he's on a whole other level. I try to swallow the lump in my throat.

I recall.

When was this?

Had Kuroba recognised him since then? To think he'd forgotten about it completely!

"Yeah. I guess we are." Shinichi mumbled with an amused smirk.

His voice sounded a bit rough. Was that an effect of the antidot?

The train passes three other stops.

Time slows and rushes altogether.

Kaito tried to ignore his nervousness while Shinichi tried to ignore his impatience. They avoided each other's eyes. They avoided contact.

The train stopped again.

The crowd grew.

Shinichi suddenly became pushed and pressed against Kaito.

Kaito groaned. It's not like he didn't like it. No, actually, the problem is that he DID like it. And he shouldn't because Meitantei already has his sweetheart and would not be interested in him anyway!

Damn this is insufferable. He's so close to Kuroba and yet he can't do anything! Because Kuroba probably doesn't have any such feelings and it's be extremely improper to act on the teen when he's unable to escape.

Unable to escape.

The thought looped in Shinichi's mind, and he couldn't help but stare down at Kuroba. His face was calm and relaxed. It's fake. He's hiding his nervousness. His eyes look uneasy and the corner of his mouth is twitching, as if to break in a wide KID grin.

KID cannot escape.

The thought made Shinichi's blood sing and he wanted to …

Kiss.

The detective is … kissing him.

… WHAT?!

Ah. Shit. He let himself get caught up! But Kuroba tastes so sweet! And he's blushing! And he's so cute and beautiful and when he smiles the world just feels so right!

Is he mooning? Mooning over the Moonlight Magician? Now that's irony!

Did the detective just chuckle after kissing him?! What the hell is going on with him?! Maybe he's gone mad? Blow to the head? Amnesia? Alien abduction? Akako put a spell on him?! WHAT?!

"Sorry … I couldn't help it … you …" Shinichi paused feeling heat rush his own face as he was stared intently by those vivid indigo jewels. He almost forgot to breathe.

"You … You look like you'd disappear soon as I let go and … I'd never see you again and … I mean …"

He's rambling. Uh. Never thought he'd see Tantei-kun lost for words. And what's all that about disappearing?

"Tantei-… Kudo-kun." Kaito amended his words. He's in public. He should use his name, not KID's name for the chibi detective.

Shinichi's ears blazed red at hearing Kuroba speak his name for the first time. His name never sounded so melodious until Kuroba said it.

"What are you afraid of?" Kaito asked, feeling the fearful and tight grip the detective had on him.

"… I'm afraid I'll lose you."

"But I'm not yours to lose, Kudo-kun."

"I want you to be mine."

Silence rolled by at the sound of the train running passed stations. By now, both had already missed their respective stops.

"Aren't you … with Mouri-san?" Kaito tilted his head, feeling confused and elated by the detective sudden confession.

Shinichi irked and frowned.

"No. It'd be … gross to go out with someone akin to a sister to me. Besides I …" He leaned down and embraced the magician's smaller frame, revelling the feeling he'd felt when he was Conan and had hugged the magician at a crime scene.

"I couldn't possibly look at anyone but you, Kuroba."

… That's unexpected.

"Since when?"

Shinichi shrugged.

"Not sure. A while. I became aware of it at the park. But it was much longer that I'd been building those feelings."

"Are you certain about this? I'm not … I'm not as thrilling as KID …"

Shinichi growled angrily.

"I'm not interested in you because of KID! I'm interested in KID because he's you! You made KID fascinating! You, yourself, fascinated me even more! Kuroba … Kaito! Kaito, every time I meet you, I feel compelled to hold and protect you …"

"I don't need protecting!" Kaito huffed but Shinichi carried on, undisturbed.

"I feel unable to look away from you. I feel like nobody else exists. I feel terrified of losing you and that you'd slip through my finger and disappear … like a phantom."

"You know I'm not technically a real phantom …" Kaito was silenced by another kiss. Deeper. Meaningful. Longful.

"I can't lose you, Kaito." Shinichi whispered, his breath brushing over Kaito's lips.

Kaito stayed quiet until the train doors opened and he let out a puff of smoke.

Shinichi found himself alone on the train, with a small card in his hand. A number and address was scribbled on the card along with a KID caricature.

Shinichi smirked, feeling like he'd been given a lifeline and wouldn't be drowning anymore. He got off on the next stop, headed straight for the address on the card. He couldn't wait. Wouldn't wait.

He waited far too long already, always missing the signs and never noticing. Holmes would be ashamed if he'd seen this. If he'd seen what Shinichi had seen and completely missed! Right in front of his eyes! So obvious he feels stupid!

He only pauses in front of a flower shop as he spots the roses and a wicked smirk corners his lips.

* * *

 _Lupin waited on the roof of his house, twirling the keys of Kudo's house that he's snatched from him. If Kudo gets his house address, it's only fair he gets the keys of the Kudo Manor in return!_

 _Now then … how long until Holmes finds him?_

 _A large wicked grin stretched on his face and Madness never looked happier._


End file.
